Bedtime Stories:

Once upon a time there was a short man nicknamed El Chapo.  He made some people feel good and others feel very bad.  One day, El Chapo and his friends came across a little girl playing in the woods.  She had a wicker basket El Chapo wanted to carry his goods for their journey through the tunnel to the other side of the forest.  The little girl was on an errand to bring lunch to her grandmother in the neighboring village–but El Chapo was no neighbor any longer.  He got in a fight with the Patron who put him in a dungeon and had escaped with the help of his gang.  El Chapo and his friends offered the little girl money and candy if only they would give him her basket full of food stuffs intended for her grandma.

El Chapo’s closest friend and body guard spoke to the little girl. “What’s your name little girl?” he said smiling.

“Little Red Riding Hood.”

“Oh, so you’re a hood too.  We’re hoods.  Do you speak Spanish?”

“Yes, but my mother told me not to speak to strangers,” Little Red Riding Hood replied.

“Well she meant in English.  You can speak Spanish to us.  Spanish is no bozo no-no in Los Angeles,” the Guapo bodyguard lied.

“Leave her alone,” said El Chapo.  “What do you take me for, a child molester?”

And El Chapo and his friends looked for a wolf to prey on while Little Red Riding Hood went to her grandmother’s house and told her all about her acquaintance with El Chapo, El Guapo and their friends in the woods.