PILATE: What is truth?

JESUS: I’m not your yogi, I’m your huckleberry.

PILATE: You say you are a king?

JESUS: You say it.

SUSAN RICE: Man, can’t you give this Galilean a break?

PILATE: What shall we do with him then?

MOB: Crucify him!

HORNY: Release Barabas!

PILATE: I wash my hands of this poor fuck’s scourged blood; he has done nothing deserving death.

HORNIES: Pin him to a cross!

PILATE: [thinking of what his wife said] May he now seek his kingdom.

Interpretation by

John Rubens

October 8, 2019

Speculative Fiction based upon biblical accounts and The Colbert Show.