DONALD J. TRUMP: No, I’m not Susan. How’d you like to make my administration better than Obamas?

SUSAN RICE: Terms?

DJT: Whatever you want. What do you want?

SUSAN RICE: Are you serious? I heard what happened to Mitt after he came to see you in the White House.

DJT: You’re no Mitt Romney. I didn’t hire Mitt. I want to hire you.

SUSAN RICE: See my agent.

DJT: I thought you were your own woman?

SUSAN RICE: This isn’t my first rodeo Mr. President. It takes more than the bullrider.

DJT: So be it. You’re hired.

SUSAN RICE: Terms?

DJT: We’ll discuss terms later. Your pay starts now. As of this moment.

SUSAN RICE: I’m no dummy. This ship ain’t sinkin’. Pay grade?

POTUS: I thought you discussed that with Treasury.

SUSAN RICE: I did. So that’s settled–what we discussed. The Treasury Under-Secretary and I?

POTUS: Fine. Done deal. Welcome aboard. No, this ship isn’t sinking anytime soon. Make a name for yourself–[smiling] I dare ya.

Sincerely,

Fictional Donald J. Trump, President of the United States of America